Why my cat is a terror

Hey guys, my husband and I are now officially the owners of a 4 bedroom 4 bathroom townhome. I know what you’re thinking – FOUR BATHROOMS?! THAT IS THE PINNACLE OF LUXURY. And you know what? You’d be correct. In fact, the first thing I thought was; “Gizmo will have a bathroom all to himself!
If you are just starting to read this blog, Gizmo is my 5-year-old toilet trained cat and if I’m honest, I talk about him a lot.I bolded the words ‘toilet trained cat’ so you’d sort of know the person you’re dealing with.
Gizmo was adopted from the SPCA, he was the runt of the litter and the cutest little peanut I had ever seen in my entire life. I could hold him in one hand and he fell asleep EVERYWHERE. He was in a foster home at the time and I fell in love instantly.


My husband, not so much.

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You have to know that I get attached to some things VERY quickly. Like, weirdly so. We had seen Gizmo TWICE for about 15 minutes each time and I was already weirdly devastated that my husband wasn’t on board. So much so, that I felt like I needed some closure.



So of course, my husband being who he is could not stand to see me so heartbroken and immediately gave in. (Note: I was not trying to cry and get my way! I was legit just really sad I had to say goodbye). So we brought him home and in no time, my husband was just as adoring of him. One day he stopped by Granville Island and brought Gizmo home a little fish shaped toy. (I should note, he did not bring ME home anything.)

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It was precious.
We were a happy little family of three.


We noticed certain little idosyncrasies later on as he matured. He had been so affectionate towards my husband and I, but with everyone else he was NOT. In fact, he was rather aggressive.
Its true. Somewhere along the lines, Gizmo got so used to it just being the 3 amigos, that he started getting weirdly protective about us. Like, Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction weird.




And it was never a huge issue, until we put our condo up on the market a couple months ago. Please understand, to sell a condo in this day and age, you have to have open houses. Where you leave and strangers go through your place and decide if they dig it and secretly judge your designing skills. We left Gizmo in the condo during the first open house, assuming that with all the people he would likely hide or just chill on his cat tree.
We were wrong.
We came back after the first open house to find our Realtor waiting.



Imagine coming into a condo and having an overweight cat STALK you from room to room hissing and likely meowing in that creepy was he does that sounds like bigfoot looking for its mate. Its horrific.
So we decided we would just put him in the carrier and take him with us during open houses.
He was not stoked.


We tried taking him to the park. My husband had gone off somewhere and I had opened the cage for Gizmo because he seemed stuffed up. He was not planning on going anywhere. Instead, he sat there, GLARING at everyone who passed us.


Suddenly these two obnoxious little tweens walked by us.

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I had to agree with them. Gizmo looked like a demon in a carrier case. I tried lightening the awkwardness.


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So we decided a new approach. A leash.
I literally don’t know which one was worse.


I feel like the following photo pretty much sums up exactly what walking Gizmo in a leash was like.



One day we had an open house happening but I was working late. So I put Gizmo in his carrier on our balcony for an hour top. When the showing was over, our Realtor went to let him out of his carrier to have free reign in the house. Of course he was a holy terror.


This just shows the dedication of the woman. If I were affronted with a MANIC cat, literally growling and trying to bite me through the cage, I’d be like, “Yeah, you’re owners are home tonight, bye!” Nope. This woman dug around to find a POT HOLDER, to open the cage.


And instead of being grateful, of course Gizmo literally turned on her. Since our Realtor is familiar with cats, she pushed the open cage towards the center of the room to give herself time to BOOK IT OUT of our condo! OUR CAT IS A MONSTER.


So truthfully, Gizmo was just bugging the crap out of me. I would literally stress out every time we had a showing because I’d be going, “What are we going to do with Gizmo?!” I would look at him angrily, shake my head and say dumb stuff like, “Gizmo, This behavior is unacceptable!” like he could actually UNDERSTAND me while my husband laughed at us from the couch.
So yeah, my cat sometimes really sucks. Sometimes I wish he was like other cats and would stop being a creep.




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